I also lost my husband and my mother last year so I decided to take the plunge and have booked to go to Kenya in October.  I was scared having never done this before but, fortunately, I met a lady at the weekend in Leeds, who has since booked to go on the same holiday and we are travelling together.  I also met another lady on the same weekend and we are now going to Malta together.  Don't worry, I'm not!!!!!:D